Our three scruffy pigs stared through the paddock gate, transfixed by a vision of loveliness: Giggles the majestic polka-dotted kunekune pig. She was above them, standing on the back of a trailer.
She clearly wanted nothing to do with our motley pigs nearby.
The trailer had been tilted down so Giggles could walk out, but she wasn’t moving
“Come on,” Leelee said, waving a carrot in front of Giggles. “Yummy carrot!”
Anyone could see that Giggles was no ordinary pig. She was so impossibly clean that her hairy coat – white with black spots – shimmered in the late afternoon sun. Her tidy little trotters looked like she’d just come from a piggy pedicure. She occupied that metal trailer with a sense of pride, as though it were her royal palanquin. All she needed was a diamond-encrusted tiara, and the picture would have been complete.
Giggles belongs to our friends Leelee and the Wolf of Wolfies Art Studio & Shop, and she is probably the most pampered pig in paradise. She not only gets regular baths, but she gets the occasional olive oil rub-down to make her coarse hair smooth and silky. I’m telling you, this pig could be a shampoo model.
As Leelee wiggled the carrot, I looked over at our three pet kunekune pigs – Kowhai the happy-go-lucky boar, Mrs D the aloof and sultry sow, and Dougal the kind but dim-witted eunuch. I sighed. Even when they’re looking their best our pigs are hopelessly disheveled and dusty, and sometimes spotted with mud. They are outdoor pigs through and through.
Suddenly Kowhai, in an obvious attempt to impress the lovely young sow before him, snorted loudly. Then he blew snot in her direction.
Giggles squealed in horror.
“It’s okay, Giggles,” Leelee said in her calmest pig-whisperer voice. “They’re nice pigs. You’ll have a great time with them. It’s just a week.”
Emergency: Pig-sitters needed
Several days earlier, Leelee and the Wolf came to CJ and me needing help. They were about to take a trip to Sydney, but their house-sitter had cancelled at the last minute. Giggles is used to constant company, and they didn’t want to leave her alone. They asked if they could bring her over to our place and leave her with our pigs.
Our pigs don’t get pampered. They have a very basic little pig house, and they all pile in together to sleep. Watching them come out in the morning is a bit like watching a line of circus clowns stream out of a tiny Volkswagen bug.
Giggles, however, is an indoor pig. At night she sleeps on a bed of her very own in Leelee and the Wolf’s room. How would she handle slumming it outdoors with the lowly peasants? One thing that was certain was this: she wasn’t about to sleep indoors with us.
To make things even more complicated, Giggles is also almost entirely deaf. We can call our pigs and they’ll come running, but not Giggles. How would we handle her?
Nevertheless, our friends needed help. So CJ and I found ourselves in a preposterous situation. We were about to babysit a pampered, hearing-impaired, porcine princess.
Princess in the paddock
It took several carrots and some gentle nudging before Leelee and the Wolf managed to coax Giggles down off the trailer and into the paddock with our pigs. Then we all stood back to see what would happen.
Giggles kept her distance. Every time one of our pigs came within three feet of her, she squealed and ran. She must have been afraid of getting dirty.
Our pigs just grunted at each other as if to say, “What’s up with her?”
Leelee and the Wolf stayed for dinner, and after darkness fell Leelee went outside with a flashlight to check that Giggles was sleeping soundly with the others in the pig house.
When Leelee came back inside, she looked worried. “Giggles is sleeping in the middle of the paddock all by herself. I got the blanket out of our ute and covered her.”
“The good blanket?” the Wolf said.
“I’ll wash it,” Leelee answered.
When CJ and I got home from work the next day, there was a new structure in the top paddock. Leelee and the Wolf had brought over Giggles’ pig house. But calling it a ‘pig house’ doesn’t do it justice. It looks startlingly like a wharenui – a communal Maori meeting house. The only thing missing is the ancestral carvings.
Lovingly built by the Wolf himself, this house has a gabled roof and a front porch. The walls are fully insulated, and there is a heart cut out above the front entrance.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there was hot and cold running water inside. And maybe a sunken living room.
Giggles settles in
Over the next week, Giggles slept in her own private wharenui and our pigs slept together in their shabby hut. Every time I went into the paddock, Giggles ran up to me and squealed frantically. I would squat down to talk to her and pet her, and she would calm down. She was clearly craving human contact.
Every time I got up to leave she kept at my heels, as though she hoped to follow me right out of the paddock and into our house. When I slipped out the paddock gate, she would let loose with the highest pitched squeal I’ve ever heard. She seemed to be screaming, “You can’t leave me here with these, these PIGS!”
It soon became clear that, despite her royal upbringing, among our pigs Giggles was at the very bottom of the hierarchy.
Whenever I tried to sneak Giggles a carrot or an apple, the other pigs would come running over and push her away. Even Dougal, the most passive pig on the planet, took pleasure in pushing Giggles away from food. Giggles would let rip her high pitched squeal. “It’s not FAIR! That was MY apple!”
I took to distracting our pigs with food, just so I could slip something special to Giggles. She was growing on me. She was affectionate and loved to be pet more than anything.
Then one day we came home from work and Giggles was gone. Leelee and the Wolf were back in Martinborough, and they had taken her home.
Her empty wharenui stood in our paddocks a few days longer. Every time I walked past it, I felt a little pang. I missed Giggle’s gentle, noble spirit.
Giggles, however, was thrilled to be home. She immediately curled up by the fire and slept. (See the Wolfies video below.)
What do you think? Should we have let Giggles sleep inside our house?
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Oh she is just beautiful! I think you should have let the poor girl sleep inside after all the lambs did 😉
Oh, you’re a trouble maker! The lambs are sooo much smaller. 🙂
For the first time I begin to have doubts about you. How could you have left that gorgeous baby sleep outside? The sweetest pig I’ve ever seen.
(Still looking forward to that book though.)
Uh-Oh. My street cred with the animal lovers is slipping! 🙂 You’ll be happy to know that Giggles is the only pig to ever break my staunch ‘No pigs in the house’ rule. She was a piglet at the time and she slept in a box at Leelee’s feet when they came over for dinner one night. She’s too big for a box now!
Remember, it is summertime so Giggles was comfy outside and I think the socialization was good for her. Plus, I’ll bet she had one great time once you had gotten out of the paddock every night! What happens in the paddock stays in the paddock. .
LOL!
She is absolutely beeeeautiful. They say (whoever “they” are), that pigs are far more intelligent than dogs. However beautiful or intelligent she is, not sure I would let her into the bedroom if she snores like that. Does the lamb snore? (Need to say one more time, Giggles is the most beautiful pig I have ever seen.)
To be honest she doesn’t snore any worse than me, and I’m allowed in the bedroom. 🙂 Leelee & the Wolf will be thrilled to see that you find Giggles beautiful. She is indeed a fine pig. She’s a real pleasure to pet because she’s so clean and her pig hair is so miraculously soft!
If we can have 2 lambs and 2 goat babies inside, what is one visiting pig inside? However, I too draw the line at our pet pigs being inside. Peggoty and Betsey have a special house to share with the 2 maniacs, Betsey’s brothers. Giggles is gorgeous though – pigs make lovely pets – Peggoty is blind and so has special needs too, but she gives back affection by the bucket-load
Your animals sound fantastic. The most we’ve ever had in the house at one time was 3 lambs for an evening, and it nearly killed me! 🙂
I can’t even imagine how devastated “pampered piggy” was at being left with your motley crew! Poor baby. However, it was good for her to see how the other half lives. I’m sure she appreciates her cozy indoor spot to catch 40 winks even more.
Yes, we don’t know what we got till it’s gone, right?
This is another great story, thank you! 🙂 I am with you with regards to leaving the pig outside. She does seem charming though and that now reminds me of the Pulp Fiction scene where Samuel L Jackson debates with John Travolta on why he does not eat swine.
Thank you again and congratulations on the book.
Take care Jared.
Thanks Benny.
Hi! I just started reading your blog and loving it. Living in Featherston myself but a city commuter and ‘only’ 1000 square metres backyard (huge for us ex-The Hague dwellers!). We have got a fenced off vege garden with a couple of raised beds and I am thinking about keeping 2 chickens there (in a coop at night). Could you point me in the right direction of getting chickens in the Wairarapa? Thanks heaps, Kirsten
Thanks Kirsten, and isn’t the Wairarapa great?
I got our Light Sussex from Andrea Sutherland outside of Masterton. She’s in the book, or email me at jared@jaredgulian.com and I’ll send her phone number.
I got our Araucana from Mapua Country Trading, but they don’t sell chooks anymore.
I got our Barnevelder eggs from Precious Poultry. I wrote about getting one of our broody chooks to hatch them in ‘Ballad of the Broody Hen’.
And if you’re looking for rare breeds of chooks, you can check out the NZ Directory of Rare Breeders.
Check out my Chicken Category for more chook stories, and best of luck to you!
Thank you!
Three pigs! You snuck that in quietly, haha. Good on yas, they’re lovely creatures and do make lovely mates.
Yes, there’s a worrying trend around here. Pig numbers are on the rise! You might have guessed that it was CJ’s idea. 🙂
Too funny! Are you sure this pig didn’t come from my sister’s farm?? (Her dog has a tiara and more FB friends than our town has people.)
Oh, don’t let Giggles know about that tiara. She’ll want one too! Check out Giggles’ “modelling portfolio” over at the Martinborough Art Department.
This story is beyond wonderful! Giggles is Some Pig. (Thank you, E.B. White.)
Funny you mention White. I recently got a copy of Charlotte’s Web and I look forward to reading it again. It’s probably been 35 years since I read that book!
Nice coincidence. Charlotte’s Web has always been one of my favorite books. My all-time favorite is The Wind in the Willows.
I’ve never read The Wind in the Willows. But I’m enjoying Charlotte’s Web again, so perhaps I should read Willows too, as you recommend it so highly.
What a curious looking pig – and such a curious temperament too! I’ve sent a link to this post to my sister who has a few pigs herself. I think she’ll like it. I’ve also shared it on FB. 🙂
Thank you for sharing it. Yes, she’s a very unique pig.
Hilarious post! I’ve started my work day with a smile 🙂
So nice to hear. Thx! Your co-workers will wonder what you’ve been up to. 🙂
She’s adorable! I vote for letting her sleep indoors! :p
You think that’s cute? See Giggles hanging out on Leelee & the Wolf’s couch when she was a piglet over on the Wolfies website. http://wolfies.co.nz/2012/10/30/princess-pig-modelling-portfolio/